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oh my fucking satin, I can't wait t'ill this movie comes out!! this looks like sucha good movie, and the special effects are like crazy awsome!!




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the dream that changed my life

Hey every body, so I just woke up and I had the most weirdest dream, I died in the dream, but I felt like I knew exactly what death felt like. My wound hurt at first but then it just felt worm. Then I felt like I knew that if I died every thing would be okay and I would meet every one that died around me up in paradise or some sort of beautiful place, like, I felt like I knew this havoc would all be over with soon. I’m seriously not afraid of death any more, and that was my biggest fear; that was pretty much my only fear. Well I’m sorta afraid of the dark but that doesn’t really count cause it was all connected to death. I was afraid some thing would get me, or (kill) me. All of my fears were connected to the fear of death. Now I guess I don’t really have any fears. It’s the most best feeling ever. I’m not afraid any more, I’m free! I feel like I’m in to movie v for vendetta lol, he taught me how to not be afraid, I don’t necessarily know who he is, but I know once I die I’ll meet him finally; my guardian angel.

at 11:26 AM, on Thursday 10/30/09

The Relization

11:36 pm October 17, 2009

I just realized some thing, some thing that probably could change the coarse of my life or at least change the way I look at things. I realized that you shouldn’t want to grow up too fast, that you should cherish every second you have, whether if your 13, 20, 45, or even 80 years old because even though you might think you have still a long ways to go, your time might be cut short by some thing unexpected. And I just want to live as much as I can, I don’t want to die at a young age any more, I want to see my kids grow up; I want to have grand children and see them grow up as well. I don’t want to be caught up in my emotions, I just want to feel, feel like I’m free, and be happy. Not cadged up in my mind afraid of showing who I really am, cause there’s no time for wondering, or worrying. There’s only time for freedom, love, and peace. Cause what it all comes down to the end, that’s all we really need… is love.

I love you Chad!

I just found out at 12:28 October 29, 2009 that my cousin Chad is going through surgery, he’s in stage five censer, the doctors don’t usually go through surgery if its stage five, but the chemotherapy didn’t work, so there’s nothing else they can really do. I knew it wasn’t looking good for him before, but now I know that he probably won’t make it through. I can't really fathom that I probably wont even get to say good bye to him.

Hazzahh! fuck yeah Barack Obama!!!

In a 68-29 vote, the Senate voted to approve the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, which would lend federal assistance to states and localities that are unwilling or unable to investigate and prosecute crimes motivated by sexual orientation and gender identity. The bill, which the House approved earlier this month, now makes its way to President Obama’s desk. The president has routinely pledged to sign the bill, most recently at his keynote address to the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest gay rights group. For the 14th and final time since the 105th Congress, the U.S. Senate today passed a $680 billion Defense Reauthorization Bill, including a hate-crimes amendment aimed at protecting the LGBT community. In a 68-29 vote, the Senate voted to approve the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, which would lend federal assistance to states and localities that are unwilling or unable to investigate and prosecute crimes motivated by sexual orientation and gender identity. The bill, which the House approved earlier this month, now makes its way to President Obama’s desk. The president has routinely pledged to sign the bill, most recently at his keynote address to the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest gay rights group. “It is no secret that issues of great concern to gays and lesbians are ones that raise a great deal of emotion in this country,” the president told the HRC. “And it's no secret that progress has been incredibly difficult -- we can see that with the time and dedication it took to pass hate crimes legislation.” One of gay rights groups’ big-ticket items, the hate-crimes legislation, may allay some activists, who have expressed impatience with what they perceive as the president’s unwillingness to make good on campaign promises to their community.



here's where I got the info from:
http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/category/1360.aspx

4-day weekend off!!

Well, this was an interesting day… lol well now I like three guys well not like, like but enough to have a little fun with them bahaha.

So on with my story, I got home from school and asked my mom if I can go chill at this park (Buena Park) I have some pix on my MySpace of me at the park http://www.myspace.com/blaqkhart but any ways and then my dad was all paranoid (high as a fuckin kite!!) and he was insisting that I come home to go out to eat with him and my mom, which he knows that I hate going out to eat, idk why I just do, but any ways, and my mom was all like no let her stay at the park and chill for a little while longer and he was getting sooooo pist it was crazy!!

&& on top of that my weekend is all fucked up now cause my friend is grounded till she’s 18 (so she says) and my weekend was all me and her going to the movies or going to this haunted corn maze thingy and idk it makes me upset I was soooo looking forward to the 4 day weekend I had and now I have hardly any thing to do cause every one else is already booked for the weekend too…. Ughhh!! I’m unhappy >:’(

well I'll see if my other friend is free or if i can chill with her cause she has a b-day coming up in two days so, I'll see if I can party hard with her and if I can drink on her dime lol.

T-I-double-ga-err

I’m at school right now in my only study hall, I know I should be doing work but I’m not lol. I am uber bored out of my mind!! I wish this day would go faster; I can’t wait till after school today, cause Lexi is coming over to chill and hopefully sleep over!! And like I said in my blog before this one, I have a 4-day weekend so today is the last day of school for this week! I’m probably guuna go to this haunted corn maze on Friday night with some friends, during the day I’ll probably go to this park by my house (Buena Park) its like the most cooliest place to get high as a kite and just chill, but that’s only in the summer time or when its nice out, it sucks during the winter.

Well that’s all for now,
T-T-F-N
Ta Ta For Now!! (:

Lucy I'm Home!!

I just found out today, my school has off Thursday and Friday!! I have a four day weekend, so I’m uber happy!! (: I’ve been doing good with the whole getting clean thing, I quit OC’s for good, I’m still going through withdrawals. But I’m still smoking cigs and am still smoking weed, but that’s not necessarily an addictive drug any way, and I still drink but I can hardly get my hands on any booze ever. I’ve been doing really well in school; I gotta get my English grade up though. There’s not really a lot going on today the same old BS lying from one of my so called “friends” I can’t figure out when she’s telling the truth or telling a lie. Its uber pathetic that every thing she says I have to question myself if this time I’m going to believe her or not. But what ever, that’s the least of my worries. I really wish some thing weird and exciting would happen, like a spider biting me and I get super powers for like 2 days or like I get zzzaped by lightning and I get zzapy powers for like a week lol just some thing different it doesn’t even have to be that big. I need the excitement, cause now its so boring I’ve been talking to myself for the past 3 weeks lmao. Well idk I know I have super weird powers ^.^

My random funny inside joke for today is “Lucy, I’m home!!” lol

Wactchmen!

I feel like such a dork today, I’ve been really tired, well that’s kind of normal considering it’s a Monday. This last weekend was a chill weekend. I just lazed around, hung out with a friend and watched the best movie I’ve seen in a while (Watchmen) here’s the trailer if you don’t know what movie it is, but I’m sure you do.



And I fell in love… with AriZona iced tea “Georgia Peach” lol
A lot happened in the past three months I found out a lot about some people, good and bad. But I’ve also found out a lot about myself that I never really saw or knew was there. And I still can’t believe that its there. Its really hard to explain, so I’m not going to explain it and get who ever is reading this confuzzled out of there mind. lol
I hope every one had a good weekend, and have a good nights rest tonight, cause I know I wont…



oh, && p.s. my song for the week is "Sounds of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel

xoxoxo, Cassie